I’m bad at poker (moanin alert!)

I’m still young. About to graduate from college in half a year.
But I believe, eventually, poker (especially cash tables) will cause me to lose everything and ruin my life. It’s just a matter of time, which I estimate it should happen in 10-15 years when I have a considerable income.
Tournaments hurts less but still a dangerous thing, the prize distribution is heavily weight toward top 1%, and among hundreds of tournaments I’ve played, my total prize is 20% less than my total entry fee.
I consider it being the one of hardest thing I’ve ever seen. There’s just no way out. Profit 500BB in 2-3 days? No way! Lose 500BB in 2-3 days? Easy. I can break it down to 10 segments, each segment I always lose 50BB and unable having a (temporary) profit of 25BB in that segment. It’s just like those opponents are all PhD in Psychology and can read my cards, maybe telephathy. You got anything good? Either they flee, easy come easy fold, and you get pennies, or they have a even better hand, extract all value from you and reset your balance to 0. Win small, or lose big! Not a great deal here. Hey, would you like to visit cashier and make another deposit sir?

How about fairness? Unless some provably fair system are implemented (like those crash/dice games on crypto casinos with server seeds client seeds nonce and hash and so on), I’ll never fully trust any online site/casino. I’d say it’s up to 70% trust worthy at most. They’ll make it looks nice and average/median/distribution/percentile all looks nothing suspicious at all. Because one or two wrong all in is all it takes to push you down the cliff and wipe out all your previous profit (if any) from previous tens to hundreds of hands.
Plus I do think there are bots involved. Not those blatant god bots that knows everyone’s cards and upcoming public cards. I call those “The punishers”, if the system big data analysis center detected your overall skill is poor, or a very bad decision was made (regardless of the result) or you tilted, those punisher bots will kick in and extract value from you, by analyzing your play style and drain (or rob) your bankroll in a way that’s not so easy to avoid. And they use those confiscated funds to award highly skilled players. Well, fair enough I guess.

Or maybe it’s my fault for being stupid in the first place. A few years ago, my parent bought me to do a IQ test and the result is I’m among top 10% smartest people, which I’m stupid enough to believe it for years.
Until now I realized, it’s probably because of my parent paid them money to have me do the test, so the test center need to come up with a number that looks good and makes my parent feels happier. Spend money and get happiness in return, make sense.

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